Emergency Birthdays
by Cora-DragonSoul
Summary: A Stingue one-shot that I wrote for my friend Dragonshost on tumblr :) "sting tries to plan a cute birthday dinner but ends up giving the both of them food poisoning"


"What do I do? You have to help me! It's an emergency!"

"Sting? What's up?" Lucy's voice crackled through Sting's phone, her tone concerned. She had clearly caught the desperate panic in his voice.

"It's Rogue's birthday today!"

Another voice floated through, slightly fainter. "That's not an emergency!"

"...Am I on speaker phone? Piss off, Natsu! It is!"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm still getting ready." Lucy apologised. "But let me guess; you forgot."

"Yes!" Sting wailed back. "I forgot and I don't know what to do! He's so hard to buy for! You're my only hope!"

"Where's Yukino?"

"Out of town, with her sister. Please!"

"Um, okay. Let me think. Why's he hard to buy for?"

"He doesn't like… _stuff_. I mean, he doesn't do souvenirs or 'useless' things. And he doesn't really _need_ anything."

"Buy him clothing!"

"Nah." Lucy shut Natsu down. "Sting's fashion sense isn't that great and I don't have time to help him today. Neither do you."

"Oh, thanks, Lucy…"

"Hush, Sting. And Natsu, but out, you're not qualified for couple advice."

"And you are? When was the last time you went on a date?"

Sting rolled his eyes, taking advantage of the fact that neither of them could see him. Best to let it play out.

"I went on a date last week, thank you very much! You, on the other hand, have never been on a date and never had a girlfriend _or_ boyfriend."

"Doesn't mean I don't see what you dating people get up to! And that's because I don't want or need one. Wait, really? Last week? Who with?"

"Um, Erik, actually."

"Cobra?!" Natsu sounded incredulous, but was laughing like this was the best thing he'd heard all week. Sting smiled. He already knew about that; he'd caught them in town on their date. "What the hell do you guys even have in common?"

"We talk about how much we hate you!"

"Jeez, that's not a good basis for a relationship, Lucy."

"Eugh! I was joking, idiot! Gods, you're the worst best friend ever."

Sting decided that was probably enough, he was running out of time here.

"Ah, guys? Back to my issue?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Sting." Lucy sounded genuinely bashful, though he could hear Natsu still snickering in the background.

"Where is Rogue today? How much time do you have?"

"He's got a long day of classes today, so he won't be home until, like, 8pm"

"Lucy likes it when her boyfriends take her out for fancy, romantic dinners! Food is always a winner."

"I can't afford a fancy dinner!"

"Natsu, go and finish getting dressed! Actually, for once in his life, I think he might be onto something here."

"Huh?"

"Well, I get you can't afford to take him out, but what about making sure he doesn't have to worry about anything once he gets home? Clean the house, cook a nice meal, set up some candles, that sort of thing. Can't beat a romantic home-cooked meal."

"I can do that… I think. But I'm shit at cooking!"

"Curry! Also, Lucy, we have to go or Jackal will take all the good equipment before we can get there."

"Curry's good. And not too hard to make. Sorry, Sting, that's all the advice I can offer you! Good luck! Let me know how it goes! Coming, idiot!"

The line went dead.

Sting sighed, then took a deep breath and tried to pump himself up. Yes! He could do this! Curry. Right. Okay… How the hell do you cook curry? To the internet!

A number of hours later, Sting was humming to himself as waited for Rogue to get home. He was lucky that there was a well-stocked Asian grocery so close to campus. The chicken had been so cheap! Plus he'd found things like cream already in the fridge. The recipe hadn't even been that hard to follow! The table was set with their nicest plates, a tablecloth and even candles. On top of it all, the house was sparkling and their cats had been fed. He was pretty damn pleased with himself. Now he was just getting in some easy studying since he'd missed a lecture or two today.

Finally, Sting heard their dormitory door creak open and he jumped up excitedly.

"Rogue! Welcome back!"

His boyfriend stood in the doorway and blinked at him. He appeared exhausted. Sting couldn't help but melt; Rogue looked way too cute when he was spaced out.

"Hey, Sting. You're as enthusiastic as always. Did you even go to class today?"

"No, but I had a good reason today!"

"Don't tell me now. The cats have to be fed."

"Done!"

Rogue looked surprised then narrowed his eyes at Sting.

"Seriously?"

"Yup! And look! I totally cleaned the house!"

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? Stop being so suspicious!"

"Nevermind. I'll get started on dinner."

"Okay!" Sting giggled. Their kitchen/dining room was actually a separate room so he was looking forward to the surprise Rogue would get. He skipped after him.

"Wha-What is this?" Rogue had stopped in the doorway, his face the most hilarious expression of shock, happiness and confusion. "Sting… Did you cook dinner?"

Sting came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Rogue's waist, settling his chin on his shoulder and grinning.

"Happy birthday, babe. I made curry. I hope it's not that bad."

"You… Sting! You're so cute! Thank you! How did I score a boyfriend as good as you?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm awesome, I know. Now, I'm starving. You took too long to come home. Let's eat and then…" His tone turned sly, "then I'll help you _relax_." He purred in Rogue's ear. It elicited a blush and scowl, but he still received a grateful kiss. He definitely owed Lucy. Maybe Natsu as well, but he'd never tell him that.

The evening had been perfect. Dinner had gone over well. Rogue, the not-so-closet romantic, had gushed over the setting of candlelight and wine (even if it was cheap wine). Sting had then set about giving him a proper, full-body massage, intending to work out all the tension that Rogue's stressful university schedule gave him. Though he'd had pure intentions, he hadn't complained when it had developed into a more passionate encounter.

Now they were languishing on their bed, snuggled into each other. Their cats, Lector and Frosch, had also joined them. Sting was happy. This was his family. He liked it, a lot.

"Sting."

"Mm?"

"I love you."

He chuckled. "Feeling mushy today? It's 'cause I'm the best boyfriend ever."

"I wouldn't go that far. You're still a dork."

"So are you! And for the record, I love you too."

 **Bonus:**

For those who aren't aware, the most common strains of food poisoning bacteria cause a reaction about 24 hours after ingestion. It is not an immediate reaction. Sting had just learnt this. Mostly from an angry Rogue, who had been Googling their symptoms while Sting wailed that they were dying.

"Goddammit, Sting!" _Bleugh_ "I can't believe you didn't check the dates!" _Bleugh_.

He didn't even have the energy to respond. Apparently the meat was so cheap because it was expired, and he probably shouldn't have trusted random cream in the fridge. He retched, but there was nothing left in his stomach. He couldn't even swallow the water Rogue had tried to force on him earlier.

"I am the worst boyfriend ever…" He managed to mutter, mostly to himself.

Rogue sighed. Now he had to deal with an over-dramatic Sting, while being sick.

"At least it's not still my birthday."

This earned a weak chuckle.

"This is what I get for trying to be nice. I'm never doing anything again."

"Fuck you, Sting. You will be paying for this for months."

"Anything for you, babe. Now come here so I can feel better by hugging you."

"Ah! No, go away! You're gross! I don't have enough energy to fight you!"

"But we're unstoppable together!"

"Fuck off!"


End file.
